Heavy Hangs The Head…

Ball Photo Card_edited-99

It cannot have been an easy life, being a noble. Indeed it probably wasn’t an easy life being a Nobel either…all those explosions and noise….and this year we are commemorating one of last century’s most poignant examples of the disadvantage of being a member of a royal family.

The Arch-Duke Franz Ferdinand was hurried from this vale of tears by Gavrilio Princip, along with his wife and eventually many million more Europeans*. We are to be entertained in April 2015 by the sight of the prime minister, the leader of the opposition, and as many of the federal politicians as can be crowded onto a Turkish beach wailing and beating their breasts at sunrise. It will be something akin to the shelling of Verdun but without the whimsy.

The Steampunk Royalty…and who knew there would be such a thing…are not likely to suffer the same fate. There are few Serb assassins passionate enough to shoot them and apart from food poisoning there is little likelihood of their being removed precipitously from the throne. The nobles that support their monarchy are not so well organised nor so ambitious as to wish to supplant them. They can reign steadily all winter.

I am left to wonder about the Steampunk movement in other countries, though. Is there a similar Tsteampunk tsardom in Russia? An Imperial Heavenly Inapproachable Steam Emperor in China? Will the American Steampunk people add a gimcrack King or Queen when they already have Barack and Michelle?

Is there, somewhere a DeBreads or an Almanack de Goatherd that defines the Steampunk aristocratic order? Because if there is, I want a copy. For the People’s Democratic Steam Hegemony. We wish to be polite and orderly when smashing the tainted imperialist dogs. It is not so much that we wish to be cruel – it is more a case of good manners and proper procedure. After all, I believe it was either Marx or Brillat-Savarin who said that Kings and pheasants both improve by being hung.

Before this happens, please enjoy the photographs of Their Majesties. And the Grafin von Katzenjammer in her picture hat. I am unsure of the rank of the lady who is flanked by the bodyguard and her companion-in-waiting, but as she looks rather nice I think we can overlook her in the first round of dynamitings and poisonings.

Ball Photo Card_edited-126 Ball Photo Card_edited-138 * No bad thing, really, except that they managed to drag Asia and America into the mess.


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