The New Digital Eating System

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Trade representatives at the LA Electronics Innovation Exposition have just unveiled what is set to become the nutrition system of the future. Already media sources are suggesting that in as little as 2 years the major portion of the western world will be using the new technology and all previous forms of eating will be sidelined. it has been referred to on rumour sites as iES.

Hatsuchiro Maganuchi, CEO of the All-Nippon Nourishment Corporation took the stand at his companies multi-nmillion dollar product launch and spoke through an interpreter. As he spoke scenes of the revolutionary research being done at ANNC were projected on holo-plasmar screens throughout the LaMonte K’shiz Delbert Hall in south central Los Angeles. Technicians were shown feeding various animals to other animals with the ultimate aim of reducing and concentrating the proteins available into the smallest possible size. The 5-minute video showed the final result of condensing an entire herd of reindeer into one polar bear. Paid attendants were available to assist the more nervous journalists outside into the fresh smog but the hard core of electronics experts who stayed to the end of the presentation were unanimous in their praise of Maganuchi and his company’s vision.

Federal agencies contacted this morning refused to confirm or deny any plans by Washington to establish ANNC centers around the nation. Spokespersons for the Bicyclists Association also had no comment on their request for continuing funding of clothes pegs and playing cards for the back wheels of America’s cyclists.

The All-Teuton Photographic Rally set to be held under searchlights at the Sportspalaz in Köln in September of this year should bring us news of further developments. Just in time for an autumn offensive on the wallets of the enthusiasts.

Heading image: hands-free option.

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