The Sorrows Of Young Werther

werthI’ve been reading the forums that deal with digital cameras today to see the reaction of the writers to the new equipment presented at Photokina 2016. I’ve divided the responses into a number of categories by percentage but the interesting feature is the fact that it does not matter which brand name is represented – the figures are the same:

A. 2% Orgasmic lust and delight at the new equipment. These people have discarded all former loves and wish to mate publicly with the camera. It is all they can do to keep their clothes on in the trade show.

B. 3% Calm and reasoned appreciation of the new design. A few reservations but no real complaints. These people will certainly go to see the new cameras and lenses in the retail stores and make up their own minds.

C. 30% Picky and brittle disdain for the new gear based upon the fact that it does not have exactly the set of features that the reviewer thinks they want. Of course they won’t buy it, but then they were never going to anyway – not unless they can get full price back for the Petriflex they bought in Aden in 1972.

D. 65% Hate and malice toward not only the new camera but every other camera that the manufacturer has ever made. Every facet of the design is execrable and these reviewers want to personally seek out the factory employees who made them and torture them to death.

I couldn’t tell you the percentage of forum writers who are paid by rival manufacturers to defame the cameras, nor could I speculate whether some of them are actually just main-frame computers hacking away in a basement. I suspect not – if they were the spelling and grammar would be better.

It does become a lot more fun when I realise that I know the writers – that I have seen them in the oh-too-solid flesh and that I have collected a file of stories about them. Few internet pests exist in a complete vacuum and there will be sources of information about most of them. Some have had to change forums as they have written themselves into black bans, but even if they do not use the same profile portrait or user name, the style and rhythm betrays them. And eventually they overstep the mark yet again.

Fortunately camera fights rarely stray into politics or religion, though I have seen sneering racial and nationalistic taunts many times. I always take note of them for use later at family parties.

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