The Daily Lotto


I’ve stopped buying lottery tickets. I’ve stopped going to the casino. I’ve stopped matching pennies with the urchins at the street corner.

It is not a case of suddenly becoming moral or frugal – it is because I get all the gambling I need by turning on the inkjet printer. Anything more would be superfluous.

The big bet is always whether or not the jets in the head have blocked up. I print a shirley each week to stave this off but even that is sometimes not enough to prevent streaks. So far a combination of profanity and head cleaning has righted matters. The waste tank on the unit is not user-replaceable so I expect that one of these days it will start to ooze from the edges of the casing…

Minor gambling is centred around the electronic agreements between Adobe with their image-editing programs, Apple with the iMac, and Epson with the printer. Frequently Apple change their operating system and on at least two occasions this has thrown the balance of power off between these three participants…and something has refused to work. I paid $ 85 to have this corrected recently, and begrudge every penny of it.

Imagine my language when the simple Adobe Photoshop Elements 14 program – hitherto the most stable of things – started to crash every time I pushed the print button to make a simple 6 x 4…It was only a discussion in a retail camera shop that assured me it was a new bug that was not my fault – A, A, and E would be working it out amongst themselves and we would be notified in due course. I had a work-round alternative so I decided to bide my time.

Today it would appear that the bug fix has been applied in some mysterious way through the internet and now the printer cheerfully prints out anything that PE14 sends it. I would appear to be afloat again.

But I still have enough cynicism to fire a locomotive. I am sure that some time in the next few months the error messages will start to reappear and the invitation to send a report to Adobe or Apple will come on to the screen. I won’t send the report, because I don’t want to use that language again…

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