Kickstart Me In My Fundament…

untitled-1The proliferation of financial schemes to draw money from photographers has led to some pretty imaginative and far-reaching campaigns. We’ve collected a list of the most promising.

a. Kickstarter. You send them money and the firm they say you are supporting will eventually supply something. It will be at a cheaper price than they ask of other people. Whether the goods will be effective, durable, stylish, or necessary is beside the point. You get them cheaper and you get them first.

b. GoFundMe. Same idea but marginally less security in actually getting anything in the end. it is a bit more of a gamble but sometimes pays off.

c. Gimmee. The new kid on the block as far as investment sinkholes. They operate on the same principle as a Parisian taxicab driver. You put money in their hand until they stop frowning and start smiling.

d. The BGA Mystery Parcel. You send money to the Guild. They send you a parcel. You may open it or not…your choice. The Guild never fails to send a parcel.

e. CrowdCash. 100 photographers are lined up in front of a blank. Each one has $ 500 in small denomination notes in their back pocket. At a given signal a team of CrowdCash operatives rush down the line snatching the money from the pockets followed by a second team who thrust something into the empty pockets. In the past this has led to some photographers receiving valuable lenses and accessories and some receiving bundles of twigs or dog faeces. The fun is in the suspense.

f. Vladimir Putin’s Bank Account Lotto. You supply your banking details and passwords to telephone operators from Moldova. You receive old Zenit lenses and bodies. This is very attractive proposition.

g. The Gypsy Gold Brick Wrapped In Newspaper App. Very similar to (f.) above but this one generally actions out of Bucharest. If you refuse to send money you are given an evil eye curse.

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