The InApp

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We need a new form of electronic product for photography. One that brings back the sense of panic that we used to enjoy in the film era when the latch on the camera was inadvertently pushed, the back opened, and the film fell out.

We need the inApp. A little add-on program that does the wrong thing at the wrong time.

Now some digital cameras are engineered to provide this experience already. Photographers who have hit the exposure compensation button or dial and screwed up the shots generally find it out a dozen images later and have to furiously redo them. Sometimes they discover this at the end of the shoot and have to try to compensate for it in the computer room with even more furious slider manipulation, art filters, and bad language. The common factor is fury.

But what if the camera performs perfectly and all the settings are fine – if the shots have been taken in RAW and no data is lost. How are we to get to the point of madness? The new electronic pest – the inApp.

This program will search through the images recorded in any photo session – whether it is a 5-image grab shot for an advertisement or a world trip with 12,000 images on 15 cards – and deliberately ruin a selected percentage of them. You can specify how much disaster you wish to court by setting the inapp. The default is 5% of the raw images rejigged to show bad exposure, white balance, focus, or anything else you wish to sacrifice. It can be set all the way up to 67% wrong if you wish to live life on the edge. This is a chance for people who normally do not climb mountains or dive from aircraft to risk professional death, and they need to go outside their own computer room to do it.

The Premium Package Gold Pro edition of the inApp will also go into your hard drive and corrupt a specified portion of the completed files. If you have not gotten that expensive wedding done within a month, or not backed up your advertising work, or just wish to risk the entire visual history of your family, this is the product for you. In the blink of an eye you will be exposed naked on an ice floe, so to speak, and the challenge will be to see whether you can recover your reputation and enough of your capital to continue trading. If you fail, you can always become an inApp salesman and lead others to destruction.

Note: inApp is not sold to minors. They do not have any money.

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2 Comments

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  1. A dodgy CF card will do it. First frame of every bracket showed fine through the instant review, but when I went back, the frame was black.

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