The New Phone Camera Isn’t.


There is nothing new about a phone camera. As early as 1815 Napoleon was taking selfies on a Nokia. It was only the defeat at Waterloo that prevented him from flooding the market.

No? You don’t believe me? Is all of your life this cynical hell? Okay, we’ll start again. There is to be a new generation of cell or mobile phones that have cameras in them of such sophistication that every other image-making device on the planet will fall by the wayside. Wedding photographers will ditch the Canon and Nikon and studio workers will throw their medium format digital cameras into a closet with the old bottles of floor polish and used telephone books. There will be no more professional photographers as the amateur ones will be doing all the imaging that the world will ever need.

Or something in between. I’m betting that someone will finally see the optical elephant in the room and bring out a mobile phone camera that you put up to your eye, rather than hold out at arm’s length, and it will have a small optical viewfinder up on the NW corner of the back. It will look a great deal like a 2008 compact camera and perform like a 2021 mirror-less. And it WILL be available in Hello Kitty and Pokemon colours

Does this seem like the same old, same old? It is, and will only give rise to a further fall in the interest level of the general public in photography as such. Of course they will always want the selfie, and the phone will be used for that. Past that it will all be stock stuff heavily Photoshopped.

I plan to take pictures of a model clad in a grey army overcoat in multiple positions and then shut down the studio. I’ll just morph her into whatever I need and no more snapping will be necessary. I mean, after the first daguerreotype came out in the 1840’s they stopped doing paintings on canvas, didn’t they?

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