The Business – Or How To Give It To Someone

” Relax. This won’t hurt a bit…Well, maybe a little bit…Look, actually this will hurt a great deal..But business is business, eh? ”

Not the sort of thing you want to hear from your physician or dentist, is it? Nor, for that matter, from the sales assistant in the camera shop. I cannot help you in the various surgeries, aside from advising you not to smoke and to floss each day, but I can make your time at the sales counter safer and more enjoyable. here are some business tips:


a. The sales assistant is paid to assist. If you have a clear idea of what you would like assistance with, you are likely to get the help you need. If you come into a retail establishment with no other internal direction than a soap bubble, you are unlikely to get anything but popped.

b. There are other people who also need assistance. If you take up all their time with wittering and fruitless conversation, the sales assistant may not be free to growl at you, but the other customers are. As a Canadian Prime Minister once said in the parliament in Ottawa ” Either shit or get off the pot, eh? “.

c. Not everything that you want exists, nor can everything you want to do be done. There are laws of physics that cannot be over-ridden. Some of them are optical, and despite what you think, none of us can suspend them.

d. With the possible exception of Ansel Adams and Matthew Brady, no photographer has such a prestigious name as to be able to command public attention. This means they do not command free equipment and supplies from retail shops.

Don’t believe me about the anonymity? Without googling, tell me the name of the man who photographed the HINDENBURG…

e. If you ask a retail salesperson to ” throw something in ” you are essentially asking them to throw something out – any chance for profit or commission. If you try to compel it with reference to other shops you may succeed, but you run the risk of getting something thrown in your face.

Think about it. If you propose to someone that they serve you with no profit, or with a loss, what value is your business to them? Why need they encourage it? Why need they be polite to you? If they are civil, it is because they are decent people, but both civility and decency have limits.

f. Are you happy? Are you happy with the equipment you have bought? Are you happy with the images that it has helped you make? Well here’s a great idea – go back and tell the retail shop. Tell them in an email or over Facebook, or just pop in next time you are passing and say so. If you bring in the results as prints or on your tablet or phone, I guarantee you will have the entire attention of the staff. They spend their days sending out technological marvels and so rarely get to see what those marvels are capable of.

And you may be pleasantly surprised at what happens when you next come in to buy something.

g. Are you unhappy? Well, bring in whatever has made you unhappy and let the staff know about it. More than likely something can be done to reverse the situation.

No need to go ballistic – just be able to show or tell what it is and ask for help. Done politely, again I can assure you, it will rivet the attention of the staff and whatever mechanism exists to right the wrong will be activated.

Note: ” I saw it cheaper somewhere else after I bought it here! ” is not a wrong, and need not be righted.



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