Are you struggling with the internet – and in particular with Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram? Are you flooded daily with memes that are so much cleverer than you are – and you feel overwhelmed? Well take heart – the new Flapoflex Mini Meme Camera is for you. Once you have it, you will be the winner of your social circle. People may hate you, but they won’t ignore you.
The Mini Meme camera is based on the Flapoflex D 503 model – it has been a steady seller since its introduction in 2004. A little bit on the big side, and not quite as many megapixels as some of the more modern offerings – actually it only has 1.8 Megapixels in total and many of them are kind of a grey-brown colour – but sturdy and familiar. And the strap that holds the camera up…or down…is genuine Naugahyde™ from Nauga in Japan.
The Mini Meme processor has been specially configured to do away with RAW processing and to output it’s results in JPEG images that are pre-sized for the social media. You just set FB, T, or I in the menu and it will do the rest. And we do mean do the rest – the Mini Meme has new WiFi technology that constantly searches for an open computer, laptop, tablet, or mobile phone within a 20 metre radius. When it finds one of these channels turned on it automatically mates to the device and transmits the current images being taken to whichever social site has been specified. Even turning it off and dropping it into a bucket of water will not prevent this transmission – the Mini Meme has an Auto-completion circuit that only stops when it wants to and is waterproof to 30 metres.
But how does it make you the king of the net?
Simple – the Mini Meme has a series of preloaded phrases and opinions done in professionally designed script that are automatically loaded onto your image before it is sent out as your social ambassador. You can specify right-wing, left-wing, or religious in the political menu and orient it toward any form of sex that you wish to promote. As the sex menu slider has divisions going up to 15 you can set the intensity of comment accordingly.
The Mini Meme is also pre-programmed to mock world political leaders based upon their popularity and success. You can put your own bias on this if you wish, though the original plan to have a blackface button incorporated on the back of the camera ran into a little trouble with the thought police and had to be cancelled.
There is also provision on the Mini Meme to send out the more offensive and disturbing messages anonymously, though federal regulations require that a compressed copy of these also be sent to the Department Of Suspicion. There is no need to register the Mini Meme with the Department as they already know where you live and what you did last summer anyway.