Early To Bed – Early To Rise

Makes a man cold, tired, and desperately in need of coffee.

Or it makes him a real estate photographer.

One genre I have never pursued, and with good reason – I have observed what it has done to the people who do. After reading The Picture of Dorian Gray I am leery of that sort of thing.

No denying that the light that first rises over the eastern hills bathes the city in a beautiful glow of anticipation. The fact that in winter it doesn’t heat anything …and in the summer that it heats everything …means that whoever is out there balancing on a ladder in at the edge of the swimming pool trying for a one-second exposure is going to be uncomfortable. And that discomfort is going to continue for hours.

I do admire the real estate shooter for one thing – the ability to see the best in any situation. Even when there is no best. They seem to be able to make salable silk purses out of some of the dirtiest sow’s ears imaginable. Some properties have no good side at all, but they seem to find one – either that or they make them in Photoshop. You might think of this sort of thing as fraud and deception, but I prefer to look upon it in a more kindly light – rather like an artist painting wonderful picture from the imagination.

Of course, the objection might be raised that the imagination that they are using to paint the picture is yours rather than theirs, and the object of the whole exercise is to cut your purse, but these are footling thoughts. Enjoy that golden light bathing the image of the bedroom that is seen to be immaculate, clean, warm, and smelling faintly of coffee and freshly baked cookies. It took 5 hours of solid retouching and three inches of rye whiskey to do. Give credit where it is due.

Naw, I’m being cynical. The real estate shooters are tough birds who keep tough hours and who deserve some admiration for what they do. Their contribution to the sale of property is vital these days and they probably don’t get the pay or recognition that they deserve. They do get their revenge, however…they are probably the ones who take the portraits of the real estate agents that dot our city’s bus shelters and rubbish bins. It is a sort of widely distributed gallery of comedy.


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